Introducing Rakewell, Apollo’s wandering eye on the art world. Look out for regular posts taking a rakish perspective on art and museum stories. Follow @Rakewelltweets.
To Art Basel Miami Beach, where art critics fear to tread and celebrities compete to see whose vanity project provokes the highest volume of semi-ironic incredulity on social media. (For the record, Adrien Brody is this year’s winner in that category.) 2015 has proved a vintage year on the bonkers entertainment front, not least for Julian Schnabel’s unsolicited turn as a guest speaker at restaurateur Michael Chow’s event at the W Hotel.
When Chow’s wife Eva had difficulty silencing the Dom Perignon-swilling crowd as she attempted to make a speech, Schnabel angrily lept up to the mic. ‘Ah, you shut up’, he told the guests, before handing MC duties back to Ms Chow.
But he wasn’t done yet. After a few more speeches were drowned out by the crowd’s hobnobbing, he raced back to recite a poem. Failing to find the text he sought on his phone, he rambled listlessly before pleading once again: ‘girls and boys, shut the f**k up please’. Charming.
Stop press: Pantone has announced its ‘Colour of the Year’ for 2016 – and for the first time in the history of this momentous accolade, it has named not one but two colours.
The lucky hues in question are ‘Serenity’ (Pantone 13-1520) and ‘Rose Quartz’ (Pantone 13-3919), replacing the outgoing Marsala. ‘Serenity’ indeed. For according to Pantone, ‘consumers seek mindfulness and well-being as an antidote to modern day stresses’.
‘Joined together, Rose Quartz and Serenity demonstrate an inherent balance between a warmer embracing rose tone and the cooler tranquil blue,’ says the company, ‘reflecting connection and wellness as well as a soothing sense of order and peace’.
Lovely. The colours are, of course, the intellectual property of Pantone. Be warned: the company might well see ‘Chili Pepper Red’ (Pantone 7427) should the unassuming consumer wish use them for their own ends…
Back in the real world, Rakewell is getting worried about his Christmas shopping. But salvation is at hand, courtesy of goop.com, the e-commerce website and weekly lifestyle publication ‘curated’ by actress Gwyneth Paltrow.
Gwyneth and team have sourced – sorry, ‘curated’ – everything the casual art lover could ever need for the festive period. If it’s beauty and practicality you’re looking for, why not splash out on a beach towel designed by artist Ryan McGinley? ‘Looks like art, sure’, the website’s caption tells us, ‘but it’s one of those things you always need’. Indeed we do, and it’s a snip at $95.
Last but in no way least, a life-sized sculpture of Russian President Vladimir Putin has gone on display in St Petersburg. The catch? It’s made out of more than 70kg of chocolate.
Whether the work has a political subtext or not, the Rake can’t be sure. The question is: is it fashioned from bitter dark chocolate or – surely more appropriate for the former KGB man’s inherent sweetness – the softer milk variety?
There’s only one way to find out. Yum.